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Why Love Matters explains why loving relationships are essential to brain development in the early years, and how these early interactions can have lasting consequences for future emotional and physical health. This second edition follows on from the success of the first, updating the scientific research, covering recent findings in genetics and the mind/body connection, and including a new chapter highlighting our growing understanding of the part also played by pregnancy in shaping a baby’s future emotional and physical well-being.

 

The author focuses in particular on the wide-ranging effects of early stress on a baby or toddler’s developing nervous system. When things go wrong with relationships in early life, the dependent child has to adapt; what we now know is that his or her brain adapts too. The brain’s emotion and immune systems are particularly affected by early stress and can become less effective. This makes the child more vulnerable to a range of later difficulties such as depression, anti-social behaviour, addictions or anorexia, as well as physical illness.

22 reviews for Why Love Matters: How affection shapes a baby’s brain

  1. Lindsey Ross
    May 16, 2023
    5.0 out of 5 stars LOVE THIS BOOK!!
    I needed this book for my human development course. It is so well written and interesting!
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    V. Vanderbeek
    July 25, 2021
    5.0 out of 5 stars Good deal
    Baby momma gift, child is loved …. Must work
    Helpful? 0 0
    Louice
    April 6, 2021
    5.0 out of 5 stars Read it!
    Amazing book!
    Helpful? 0 0
    Tommy Lopez
    November 10, 2019
    5.0 out of 5 stars Important to know
    Great book, easy read.
    Helpful? 0 0
    Janis
    October 26, 2019
    5.0 out of 5 stars Love it
    Such a wonderful book!
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    Classy Mamma
    December 4, 2017
    5.0 out of 5 stars This explains lots...
    Really interesting book with lots of explanation of what is happening in our society to our children.
    Helpful? 0 0
    Ava
    April 23, 2017
    4.0 out of 5 stars Got for class, glad we had to read it
    Had to buy this book for class and was pretty satisfied with the explanation of attachment theory and how initial stages of life affect later issues t...More
    Had to buy this book for class and was pretty satisfied with the explanation of attachment theory and how initial stages of life affect later issues that are attributed to the showing of love and affection in multiple areas of relationships. Would recommend this to anyone just starting out in the mental health/clinical field and working attachment theory, which will have to be addressed in clinical practice one way or another whether formally working with the theory in your agency or not,
    Helpful? 4 0
    DCK_2022
    March 3, 2017
    5.0 out of 5 stars Great book. My childhood was explained to me in ...
    Great book. My childhood was explained to me in bits in pieces in this book and I was able to put it all together in the end.. It's actually like info...More
    Great book. My childhood was explained to me in bits in pieces in this book and I was able to put it all together in the end.. It's actually like information keeps coming and there's no end to it. I got a broad perspective of what my baby life was like and it's helped so much. I recommend this to anyone who is trying to be a better guardian to a child or understand their "inner baby"--both.
    Helpful? 6 0
    R. Woods
    May 5, 2016
    4.0 out of 5 stars If this time could be made better, society would flourish
    I don't think most people realize how important the first three years of life to the baby and to the adult latter on.If this time could be made better...More
    I don't think most people realize how important the first three years of life to the baby and to the adult latter on.
    If this time could be made better, society would flourish.
    Helpful? 0 0
    beinloveart
    October 13, 2015
    5.0 out of 5 stars politicians and anyone who interacts with children and wants to understand how much attention we guve baby from the day it is bo
    A must-read for parents, teachers, politicians and anyone who interacts with children and wants to understand how much attention we guve baby from the...More
    A must-read for parents, teachers, politicians and anyone who interacts with children and wants to understand how much attention we guve baby from the day it is born until three years is like "putting all the ingredients in and baking a cake" it's a time when attention is crucial and babies take everything in, our levels of happiness and everything we engage them in ... they are a beautiful fragile sponge at this age and they need us to know - so read this book! x
    Helpful? 2 0
    Nicole
    September 24, 2015
    5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful book
    This book offers science based research and insight into the influences we have on our children as the grow and develop. Every time I read it I learn ...More
    This book offers science based research and insight into the influences we have on our children as the grow and develop. Every time I read it I learn an incredible amount of information. I think every child development class should have this on their required reading.
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    mangowallah
    February 5, 2014
    5.0 out of 5 stars A must have for everyone.
    I think this book is important for anyone considering having a family or anybody who wants to understand more about how they may have been influenced ...More
    I think this book is important for anyone considering having a family or anybody who wants to understand more about how they may have been influenced when they were growing up. It is an easy read.
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    Mary Lee
    December 18, 2013
    5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent!!! Essential reading for everyone who cares about children - or society!
    This book combines our newly acquired scientific knowledge about brain development with the wisdom of the millennia, and documents how cultural shifts...More
    This book combines our newly acquired scientific knowledge about brain development with the wisdom of the millennia, and documents how cultural shifts in recent centuries have caused us to "loose sight of" the essential care babies need to develop emotional regulation and brain functioning itself - essential care without which those babies grow up having difficulty parenting their own children, or possibly developing serious mental health challenges themselves. As individuals, and as a society, we CAN and MUST take these lessons to heart to provide the best foundation possible for all children and parents.
    Helpful? 0 0
    Open Minded
    August 15, 2013
    5.0 out of 5 stars Great book
    I recommend this book to everyone. I think it is quite in depth on the science that they are learning about how the emotions we experience as young c...More
    I recommend this book to everyone. I think it is quite in depth on the science that they are learning about how the emotions we experience as young children can and does affect us.
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    Anna Humphreys
    June 25, 2013
    5.0 out of 5 stars Everyone should read this book!
    This book truly changed the way I relate to people. As a teacher of Infant Massage, I now understand the impact that affection has on a baby's brain,...More
    This book truly changed the way I relate to people. As a teacher of Infant Massage, I now understand the impact that affection has on a baby's brain, and how that shapes its relationships to others and the world at large, for life.
    Helpful? 0 0
    Casey J.
    June 4, 2013
    4.0 out of 5 stars Interesting and challenging
    Great book, definitely goes into the biology of attachment without mentioning the theory of attachment. Not an easy read, but you will leave learning ...More
    Great book, definitely goes into the biology of attachment without mentioning the theory of attachment. Not an easy read, but you will leave learning a good life lesson.
    Helpful? 0 0
    yanacona
    February 23, 2013
    4.0 out of 5 stars Powerful reading
    Get into your personal parenting relationship, even as you were a mere son and didn't have a clue about what your parents were doing
    Helpful? 0 0
    Lwl
    February 21, 2013
    5.0 out of 5 stars Incredibly inspiring read
    This book was a part of a course in infant psychology in my university studies. It was a truly inspiring read and definitely something for all parents...More
    This book was a part of a course in infant psychology in my university studies. It was a truly inspiring read and definitely something for all parents-to-be, or just anyone interested in understanding how people should treat babies and each other. With all this new research I believe we have some great clues on how to solve the problem of psychological issues in the future.
    Helpful? 0 0
    mary
    December 29, 2012
    4.0 out of 5 stars Did not disappiont!!!
    The author drew me into this book. I have been in the field ot traumatology since before it was called traumatology and I loved this book. It was writ...More
    The author drew me into this book. I have been in the field ot traumatology since before it was called traumatology and I loved this book. It was written in such a way that the information was easily understood and I could translate it to work with the children at work immediately.
    Helpful? 0 0
    Missspelt
    September 15, 2012
    5.0 out of 5 stars Best Book Ever Written
    Well i dont read hardly any books but when i went through a hard patch of anxiety a couple of years ago, i was recommended this book. IT CHANGED MY LI...More
    Well i dont read hardly any books but when i went through a hard patch of anxiety a couple of years ago, i was recommended this book. IT CHANGED MY LIFE... really helped me to understand why i have become the person that i am & that the decisions of my parents & the people i grew up with contributed so much as to how i am today...

    I have now bought 4 of these books & given them as presents to friends who are expecting babies, this book should be part of every governments guide to how to bring up children & every new parent , male & female should read it.. its not just a baby book, theres way more to it than that.
    Helpful? 11 0
    littlecatland
    September 30, 2007
    5.0 out of 5 stars Great book for parents, parents-to-be, and clinicians.
    This book really opened my eyes to the fundamentals of brain development in infancy. I had no idea how much the actual physiology of the brain is affe...More
    This book really opened my eyes to the fundamentals of brain development in infancy. I had no idea how much the actual physiology of the brain is affected by infant experience, not just the psychological. Sources are well cited, ideas are well backed up in scientific research, and the information is presented in a way which benefits lay readers as well as researchers (with an introduction about brain structure and development).

    I suggest every parent-to-be get a hold of this book. One reviewer was dissapointed by the lack of specific exercises to play with. However, I don't think they are necessary because this book gives specifics about why certain strategies affect infants. I think understanding why certain types of parenting work better than others makes parents more likely to come up with the kind of adaptive spontaneous strategies which come out of such a way of thinking. You could also check out Brazelton for more specific info about exercises to do with your baby.

    As a side note, once you read this book and make decisions about parenting based on the exhaustive research cited within, you will not only feel more confident about your parenting, but you will be able to defend against attacks from helpful but persistent grandparents, in-laws, and friends - should you want to engage in such discussions.
    Helpful? 22 0
    S. L. Cook
    August 31, 2006
    5.0 out of 5 stars Outstanding INformation for communication scholars and sociologists alike!
    The text is well written and provides readily accessible information related to cognitive development and lifelong impacts. I believe the comparison ...More
    The text is well written and provides readily accessible information related to cognitive development and lifelong impacts. I believe the comparison of nature/nurture and the ensuing debates in this area are well served by this material. Any parent, communication scholar, or educator would be well served by reading this text. The only conflict I had with this book was the title, which may mislead people seeking pop press to believing that this is one of those frothy self-help books. When I finished the book, I could feel and hear the applause for the author!
    Helpful? 4 0
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